Now me mate having bad day and all, decides to step into a chip shop in attempt to end the day well. Nothing’s better than a late-night fry-up right? Anyway, he sits down, place all winding down and such, save for the night-people; drunk bar mates and such, and he sees this like, weird couple, y’know? One’s dressed decked out in chains and leather and eyeliner all that, other’s just, like, normal, y’know? Freaking blue cardigan, clean sneakers, hair pulled back, yea? But they so loving each other, not even drunk an’ all that; just genuinely havin’ a good time, being the most beautiful couple anyone can see and that.

Are they alone?

Nah, his mates; all goth an’ same such all round them, having a roarin’ good time. Roarin’ good time. But this two, right? Sitting at the edge of the tables, just lovin’ it. Not snogging or anything even, just lovin’ it, y’know? Arms round each other an’ such, eating their chips all neat like, looking just, happy, right?


An’ well me mate see, he finds it all weird, cuz like, let’s face it, who wouldn’t right? Nice lookin’ girl all with a bunch of them folk, right? Anyway, guess what he does.

He goes up to them?

Yea, ya he goes right up to them, and he like, gets the table next to them right, and he like just watches, y’know? Not like creepy and anything like that, but he just like watches them. So they notice right? Old man staring. So he expects a “What the fuck you looking at” from the guy an’ his mates yea? One of ’em, twat sat up on the divider booth, goes “Wonderin’ how this happened eh?”, pointing at the lovebirds; then the rest of ’em goes “Yea us too.” Whole bunch of them laughing their asses off.

Uh-huh. So what’s the story behind that then?

You know that mini-afropunk festival? Yea, we met there.

Right, right. This lovey here, right. Beautiful right the moment I saw ‘er. Firefan dancing and shit. I fell in love, man.

I wasn’t dancing; I was just holding a fan.

Right, right. Anyways I see her right, and like, just- why don’t you tell it, eh? You tell it better than me.

Really? Okay, so I’m a photographer. I try to be anyways. So I’m talking to this Romanian girl, gypsy, wonderful picture op; and this dude here just walks right up and asks for a kiss.

Just like that?

Just like that. Yea.

And let me tell you what, that weren’t no easy feat, that. I didn’t want her thinking I was a slag, or that she was a slag, oh NO. T-this girl, she fucking radiates purity. What?! I’m serious! Got me making sure I ask consent and all at the sight of her. 

It was my first.

Your first what?


Really? And you gave it… cause he asked?

Yeah. Well, I figured I’m done waiting for special moments and shit, so this sweetheart walks over, asks me nicely; and I went heck it. Should have seen his face when I told him after. Got a great pic out of it too.

Terrifying. I’m like legit scared to do anything else with her now. 


You’re fucking…PURE, luv. Too precious for this world. Aw, fuck off. 

Got ‘im listnin’ to Bee Gees and shit, man! That was his own! Fucking Night Fever man. You lot loved it too! Looking for common ground with this angel here.

S-so what do you guys have in common, don’t mind me askin.

Um, we both like music. And each other. And shagging. And shagging. And- WHAHAHAHA?!! No no no mate, don’t do that. She pure. She pure.

Anyway, he comes up, asks for a kiss,  a-a-and like, not even creepy-like! Just like honestly no pressure, nothing, just, “HI, um you’re like um you’re buetiful, I mean beautiful Just WOW um-” Stop. You were! You were so cute. And like I-I genuinely wanted to know, like it wasn’t a pity thing, I really wanted to kiss him, like, so- so we did.

So whatd’ya find out?

I’ll show you. Aww wha- really? 

I’ve never seen him like, so sad and happy at once, y’know?

What you mean?

Like, I dunno man, it’s like something you need to see then you’ll get, like um, remember when me wife gave birth to Tommo? 

We still talking bout two kids kissing right?

Yea yea, I mean – No I mean like, its something like, no one really got me when I told them what I saw, like they were all like polite about it an’ all, but like, there like, you could tell that- that they din’ really understand me?

No… no connection.

Yea yea, no connection. But like, you could see how he like tried to put what he saw into words and just like couldn’t?

Yea yea I get you.

Right? Okay so if like, he was like that on their… on their….


Not-first-kiss right? Wh-wha-what’cha think their first must’a been like?

Definitely hella awkward.

Ye-hahahahahah! Anyway, the way he describes this kiss is like, jesus man, you’d think he’d met two angels or sommat.

Really now? That magic?

It’s like, well, they way he said it man, he became all soft-like like a real grandad and shit man. Sweet in his old age and that. Christ, got me realising I’m fucking half-foot in the grave here too.


Really! Think about it. Lord, man. Can’t even stay out anymore.

We need a holiday. You, me, your mate. Yeah. Jesus. Does he still see them? Them at the chippys?

Ohh once in a while mate. ‘pparently girl’s looking much more like him now. 


Yea man. Skull jumpers, some inks, pink hair all. Still sweet as anything tho. 

And the boy?

Same. Well, I guess you have to know him to see whatever, but yeah. Still looking like fucking peaches and cream together.

Lovely, that.

Writer’s note: I think I talk to myself in my head a tad too much lol. And if you’re wondering why the accent inflection, that’s the beautiful result of binge-watching all 5 seasons of Misfits and the entire This Is England journey goodness. 😀 ❤